Revelations

I was at my Bible study group last night and it occurred to me that I have always been trying to work my way into Heaven. If I could just work harder, help more people, be a better mom, attend ALL my kids functions, memorize scripture, make a better casserole, have a bigger kitchen so I could have the "family" dinner every night, not be a divorcee, on and on and on.

Like there is some score card out there that says if I don't do all this perfectly, then I won't be able to get into Heaven! Where in the world did that come from? Who knows, but I surely have some screwed up thinking. Still.

The only scorecard that is going on, is the one that resides within my brain. A little checklist that still reads "you'll never get into Heaven because of all these wrongs you did in your life, so you better get cracking on changing the past". What the heck? I don't want to go back there!! And I'm told I don't need to. I'm told that I need to clense the demons that still haunt me to make room for the Holy Spirit to pass through me. I'm told that I will screw up every day, but that I will be forgiven and that Jesus died for ME and you and you and you and ...........

So, I will continue to try and do my best everyday. If the pot roast burns, and I have to make a boxed dinner, I'm sure the Lord is happy that I at least fed my children.

Faith and Motherhood

I know, it's been weeks since I've published. Life has been most unnerving the last couple of weeks. I will say that I am forever grateful to GOD for having the opportunity to be at home with my family the past year. It's been one heck of a roller coaster, and I'm not sure how I would have handled it if I would have been stuck at an 8 to 5, high-stress, frequent traveling and under appreciative job. Most people would have called my last job a "dream" job based on the salary I was making. Let me tell you, that money did not buy me happiness nor did it provide serenity. All it gave me was headaches, frustrations, depression and frequent trips to the hospital due to anxiety.

I am making less money, but the rewards of being available to family and friends has given me more than anything that money could have bought me. I feel that I have been living life to it's fullest and God has provided me everything I have needed. Isn't life supposed to be about giving back, helping someone else, spreading love and trusting GOD?

Over the last year I have re-connected with my brother, who is currently serving time in a state prison in Montana, but who I love more today than I ever thought I could possibly love. He is an inspiration to me of faith. I have been able to give back to the community with my time. My phone rings non-stop during the day, mostly people who just need someone to listen. I have been able to visit colleges with my daughter and walk through the fear with my husband and his diabetes. Doctor visits, weight loss, learning how to eat properly, having time to actually cook a healthy meal instead of the 30 minute boxed, clogging arteries and high carb dinners. I've been available to my son who is suffering from mental illness and alcohol abuse at the age of 15. I have not had to take 1 "vacation/PTO" hour in the last year and worry about still having left over vacation hours for small get-a-ways with the family where you spend most of the time depressed because you have to go back to work.

I look forward to each day and what opportunities await me. This must have been what it was like for stay at home mom's years ago. You know the ones. Those that had 4 to 16 babies, made their childrens clothing and actually re-used them on the younger ones, made 3 meals a day, spent time helping them with their home work, took them to church every Sunday, didn't plop in a VCR/DVD to entertain their children so they could enjoy some peace and quiet after a long day at the office. My priorites were completely screwed up with that "dream" job and the more money I made, the less mental time was spent on my family. I think I may want the Little House on the Prarie life-style back instead of the rat race most women live in today. My prayer is for all mothers who find themselves more worried about moving up the corporate ladder so they can afford to go out to eat more and buy their children the designer clothes and send them to the best schools who can teach their children that the more education you have the more money you will make and the happier you will be. I learned the hard way, that this is not reality. Teach them that no matter what, GOD is good all the time and that no matter what they do in life, GOD will be there for them and give them everything they need.

Milestones

I have officially entered the world of Affiliate Marketing today. I uploaded my first AdWords campaign, and I'm going to try and not check it every hour to see how it's doing. I'm crossing my fingers.

I'll show my kids that I can navigate this computer if it's the last thing I do! Even at 39! (Shoot, only 3 more months of that...panic!) Hahahahaha! They would be so proud.

I actually found some great sites to help me in starting my business. Google has many sources to assist you in Pay Per Click advertising, I also found many others through a class I am taking. If you have the chance to check out PPC Classroom, it's worth the money if you're just starting out.

More to come....but I'm hopefully on my way!

This Side of Heaven by Karen Kingsbury

If you have never read a book by Karen Kingsbury, I suggest starting out with This Side of Heaven. I read it in about a day and a half, and it was one of the most inspiring books I have read in a long time.

Karen Kingsbury is an inspirational writer who is a Christian and writes novels based on her own experiences as well as her reader's experiences. She has 6 children (which I find an inspiration in and of itself).

This Side of Heaven is a story of adversity, a family's love, and how faith can overcome anything. I truly have been changed by reading this book.

Remember that God always has a plan, we just may not see it right away. Just wait for the miracles.

Revised Cooking

So my husband was diagnosed with diabetes a couple of weeks ago. And now that we are trying to get past the fear and take care of it, I have to learn how to cook all over again. Not that I knew how to cook, but I definitely had a few PA Dutch recipes up my sleeve that were good to fall back on. Calorie counting, carbohydrate monitoring, sugar intake, blood checks, doctors, kids panicking ("Do we have to change the way we eat, I like the way we eat!"). Ha! Life style change for everyone. Who wants to cook separate meals? Not me. I have a hard time cooking one, let alone two.

I suppose this is a good thing, and will get us all to a healthier place, but this is one area that I blank out on when people talk about it. I love food, and want to enjoy it! It depresses me and my husband to have to worry about food intake. Nutrition panels are certainly not my forte and I never checked them before in my life. I did learn a very handy tidbit from the nutritionist though. Just because it says Fat Free or Sugar Free, doesn't necessarily mean it's better when it comes to carbs. It's all about the carbs! Check it out sometime. Compare regular chocolate ice cream to fat free chocolate ice cream. The carb count is lower on the regular! Woo Hoo...just don't eat the whole pint at one sitting. I'm actually starting to realize that just a few small changes can make a world of difference.

I found a great cookbook to help me in preparing meals. I pretty much made the same thing week after week, but this book helps me to add variety as well as gives me a weekly meal plan, with recipes and portion sizes for different calorie intakes. It's called The Ultimate Diabetes Meal Planner by Jaynie Higgins and David Groetzinger. It has made life much easier, at least for today.

Clear the Junk

12 years ago when I left my first husband, I never would have thought I would be at the place I am today. I'm having one of those "How did I get here moments". I went from living in a one bedroom apartment with my two kids, a job where I was surrounded by all men (which for those of you who know me, was not a very safe environment for me), barely being able to make ends meet because I was spending all my money on addictive substances, no friends I could confide in (at least that I knew of at the time), my family couldn't trust me, I was estranged from my brother, and most of all had no faith in God...what-so-ever!

So how did I get here and where is "here"? Well, I now have a modest 4 bedroom home. I am married to a giving and loving man and we share similar goals in life. I am actually able pay my bills each month, and on time with a couple of dollars to spare. I have so many friends, I can't even begin to count them all. Facebook says 127, but not all my friends are on Facebook, which blows me away! My family trusts me and I love them more every single day. My brother and I have the best relationship we have ever had in 30 plus years. And the best of all is that I have a relationship today with God that is beyond my wildest dreams.

They say you have to get out all the junk in your heart to fill it up with the good stuff. I'm here to say my heart is over flowing. Believe me, I had a lot of junk to clear. From being gang raped at the age of 6, to losing my father at 12, to again being sexually assaulted at 15 and 22, to overcoming an addiction at 28, and much..much more.

The junk is gone, and all that is left is love. Who would have thunk that?? Certainly not me. What I can offer those who read this is hope. If you are in a place of despair, keep pushing forward. I never would have thought 12 years ago that I would be working as a consultant, making my own hours and being able to spend more time with my family and friends. Keep your mind open, look for gratitude every day, trust in God that he has a master plan, and lastly don't take yourself so seriously. Humor is a tremendous healer. If you can't laugh at yourself, you have no business laughing at others.

Closing their eyes for last time

Death. Not a favorite topic and always a tough one. Who enjoys saying good-bye to loved ones? Who enjoys watching their friends and family grieve the loss of their mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, sons, daughters, husbands, wives, friends, lovers and yes - even pets? Not I, that's for darn sure. I've lost my fair share, just in the last year alone. I'm writing this to honor those that I have lost and maybe help comfort those who are in the process of grieving today and offer guidance to those who have yet to lose someone they loved.

My first experience of losing someone was extremely traumatic and changed my life forever. Ohh, I may have lost a pet or two, and I'm sure there may have been a couple of other deaths before it, but this is the one that I remember the most and taught me the greatest lesson in life.

I was 11 years old, and was spending the weekend with my dad. My mom and dad were divorced when I was 4 or 5 and had both remarried by this point. My dad and brother went out canoeing, and my dad never came back. You see, he didn't think he needed a life preserver, he knew how to swim. When the boat capsized, it hit him on the head and the current took him away. I was so darn mad at him for even going out on that water, that I yelled at him and said "I hate you!", before he left. Well, that was the last I said to him. They found him 10 days later and buried him the day before my 12th birthday.

My story is to offer you the lesson I learned. Before the ones you love leave this world, make sure you tell them how much they mean to you. How they have made a difference in your life. How they have affected you as a human being and what you will take with you when they are gone. Make amends for your wrong doings before it's too late. We are all children of God, and unfortunately we do hurt other people. Sometimes intentionally, and sometimes unintentionally. Forgive those that have hurt you, before it's too late. We never know when God is going to need more angels, so it's important to love them while they are here and tell them you love them. Don't let things unsaid, it will cause you more pain than you will ever know. When their time comes to be with the Lord, you will be able to rejoice and lift them up to the Lord. Although there will still be pain, and sadness and a great sense of loss, you will know in your heart that you've said everything there is to say, and you will be able to let go.

It took me many, many years to learn these lessons and finally be able to let go of the guilt I held in my heart. Don't let it be too late for you.

Food for Thought

Forgiveness. Has anyone ever hurt you so deeply that you feel the scars will never heal? I am here to say that I have. But I have been given the gift of forgiveness. All the pain and all the hurt from my past and present have been lifted from me and I have been set free. Who am I to judge others? Do I want them to judge me? I have made numerous mistakes in my past, and have tried to make amends for them all. If I expect forgiveness, I must first be willing to forgive. Where did this start? It started with forgiving myself for all the wrongs I had done others, and asking God to forgive me as well. I falter everyday, but I ask forgiveness at night and am given the grace each morning to make amends for my wrong doings.

My faith was tested yesterday by someone who is very ill in a disease. I felt as if I was wronged by all the lying and the manipulation. I must get to a place of forgiveness for this child of God in order to help her and show her that life can be beyond her wildest dreams, if only she can get to a place of honesty. I expected those to forgive me when I was in that place, is it not my duty and obligation to forgive her as well? Won't God forgive her? Doesn't she have her own journey and don't I believe that God is watching out for all of us? Hurt people will hurt others. I have, and so will others.

My point is this. Don't take things personally. We don't know what is going on with other people and where they are at emotionally and spiritually. When you extend your hand to help others, expect nothing in return. The gift of being able to give is the reward.

Super Bowl Sunday

Okay...yes, I'm a Steelers fan, but I believe I can be biased in my opinion of the game. Way to go Steelers and Cardinals for giving us one of the better Super Bowls to watch in years. It reminded me of the old Cowboys/Steelers games when I was a kid. As for the commercials, they were surely lacking. There are NONE that stick out in my mind that will be talked about at the water coolers today, except for maybe the one where the guy got thrown out the window (what was that again? Budweiser?) See what I mean.....

In the Beginning

I suppose for my first post, I'll give up the reason for the name Lipstick Dogs, so I can move forward and not have to make amends down the road. I wish I could take credit for the name, but I must give credit where it is due. Lipstick Dogs was a creation by my good pal Mell, resulting from a combination of events and babblings of random people. I thank my friends Esther and M for their patience and tollerance during our obnoxious and rude behaviors that night.

I hope you find my site informative, humorous and insiteful and yes, even sometimes completely useless (just setting expectations). If you can't find a little bit of yourself in these pages....then by all means, I hear that there are millions of other sandboxes to play in.