Sunday, July 11, 2010

Starting over

Tomorrow is the first day of my new job.  I have a tremendous amount of anxiety running through these veins of mine, even though I know God will be taking care of me every step of the way.  Billy always tells me that when you make a decision in life it doesn't mean it's the end, I can always make another decision.  Why do I put so much pressure on myself to make the "right" decision?  Why does it matter to me so much?  For 12 1/2 years of our relationship now we have had numerous jobs (well, he has anyway...hahahaha) and we ALWAYS are taken care of.  We've lived in the same house for 10 years now, and our mortgage has only been late maybe once or twice....if at all.  We have food, clothing, electric, Internet, cable, phone, cars, a motorcycle, and my children pretty much have everything they want and need.  All this with me NOT having a full time job for the past two years.  Ok, ok...panic attack, enough of that already!

We had a wonderful weekend and anniversary.  We spent time with our friends Wendy and Mike helping them clean out one of their barns.  Mike should definitely be on the Antique Pickers show, or maybe be a target for Hoarders!  Wow....but it was all good.  We got one barn cleaned out just in time for it to be filled up again within 2 hours.  They fed us well too.  A feast of Cajun shrimp, fillet Mignon and corn on the cob.  Yummy.  Hint to all:  coaxing us with food almost always works, Chelsea and Devin even participated in the fun.

The study of Ruth is absolutely lovely.  We are running a little behind because we didn't get the booklets for almost a week after it started, but I know we can catch up quickly.  I've only done a weeks worth so far, and am getting a lot out of it AND...I'm only at Chapter 1 vs 17.  Amazing how I've read Ruth before, but as a book, rather than really soaking in what each verse was saying and the depth of commitment Ruth had as well as the shame and guilt Naomi had returning to Judah.  Oh how I can relate to both of them, actually to all three: Naomi, Ruth and Orpah.  Naomi, returning home to God of Israel who she turned her back on when she left for Moab.  Ruth, clinging to the hope of something better in Naomi's God, leaving her gods behind.  Orpah, returning back to despair only because it was what she knew and was comfortable with.  Yes, I can relate to all three of these marvelous women.  So much to learn and I thank you Julia for participating in this with me.

God bless.