Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Revelations

I was at my Bible study group last night and it occurred to me that I have always been trying to work my way into Heaven. If I could just work harder, help more people, be a better mom, attend ALL my kids functions, memorize scripture, make a better casserole, have a bigger kitchen so I could have the "family" dinner every night, not be a divorcee, on and on and on.

Like there is some score card out there that says if I don't do all this perfectly, then I won't be able to get into Heaven! Where in the world did that come from? Who knows, but I surely have some screwed up thinking. Still.

The only scorecard that is going on, is the one that resides within my brain. A little checklist that still reads "you'll never get into Heaven because of all these wrongs you did in your life, so you better get cracking on changing the past". What the heck? I don't want to go back there!! And I'm told I don't need to. I'm told that I need to clense the demons that still haunt me to make room for the Holy Spirit to pass through me. I'm told that I will screw up every day, but that I will be forgiven and that Jesus died for ME and you and you and you and ...........

So, I will continue to try and do my best everyday. If the pot roast burns, and I have to make a boxed dinner, I'm sure the Lord is happy that I at least fed my children.

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