Quickly or Slowly...God and my mother's love

Most of the time I demand to have immediate gratification for my decisions. When that happens, I am happy for a small period of time (days, weeks or even maybe a couple of years) and then I move on to something else I think I want and demand to have that instead. It's those things that I wait for and work towards, and those things that are given to me which I don't understand but I keep and realize the significance of, that mean the most to me.

I've been reading The Relationship Principles of Jesus by Tom Hollady, which is a 40 day journey in developing the relationship skills that Jesus teaches us about. Today's reading was about Matthew 18:4 "Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven".


Do I go to God demanding that he fixes certain situations I am in (and tell him exactly the way it should be fixed)? Do I force solutions/relationships in order to have that quick fix because I'm not trusting God enough to let him work in my life and put before me those things that are good for me? Am I so caught up in what I think is best that I completely miss what God put before me? My answer to these questions is absolutely, but not all the time.


Patience is one of the scariest things to pray for, but yet the most rewarding. When I can completely turn my life over to God and ask Him to take care of all my needs and wants, I have freedom from worry and am able to enjoy my life for I know that He will take care of me, no matter what and I feel safe! I know that He will provide for me things that were not even in my thoughts, for I limit myself, but He knows my full potential and works on bringing that out in me and for me to work for His glory.


I remember when I was little asking my dad for material things (wants) all the time, and he provided them. He was a care free character who revelled in the material things of this world and thought he was indestructible, which was his demise. On the other hand, my mom provided all of my needs. I know it was hard for her and that she struggled financially to provide clothing, food, shelter and that she struggled internally as well and sacrificed more than I will ever know. Which was more of an example of God's love to me? My mother is one of the purest examples of Jesus' sacrifice for my sins than anyone in my life. She shows unconditional love for ALL her children, she does everything possible to provide for our needs, yet lets us learn our own lessons and is there for us when we fall. For Christmas I could always count on my dad buying us what we asked for, yet my mom would buy us things that we never thought of. This was incredible, because she always knew what we needed without us asking her. Even though we may not have appreciated it right when we got it all the time, we eventually realized it was something we really needed.


Mom, I love you and thank you for your example. If I can be half of the example you have been to me to my children and to other people I come in contact with, then I hope I have made you and God proud. Your love, mom, multiplied 1 trillion is not even close to God's love for me and I cannot fathom it, for your love has been so great.

Precious Cargo

My daughter Chelsea texted me today that she got a new job working at Lowe's and was so excited.  She was on her way to her other job at Toys R Us, and I texted her back saying to be careful that she is precious cargo and she needs to treat herself that way.  After I sent the text, I thought about it and how profound that statement is. 

Our bodies are but vessels for the Holy Spirit, God to communicate to others.  I look for burning bushes, I look for the waters to part, I look for the worst of the worst afflictions to be miraculously healed, but I forget to look in my sisters, brothers, mothers, fathers, husbands, childrens, friends, neighbors, strangers eyes and see that God is residing right there.  Close enough for me to reach out and touch Him. 

I know this is not a secret to some, but sometimes I get this God smack right up alongside my head that says "Dah Tina, WAKE UP!!  You can hear my voice through everyone and everything.  You can see my miracles in all things.  I am working my miracles in every movement on the earth.  I have a plan, and you are on a need to know basis.  When you need to know, you will know.  For now, I've got this.  Stop messing around with it."

How simple.  How wonderful.  How incredibly hard to remember.  No wonder he gives us one day at a time.  Each day I hit the reset button and try again, knowing that somewhere along the way, I'm going to screw things up again, but grateful for the opportunity to change it tomorrow and if I'm lucky, before I hit the pillow that night.

Grief and Glory

In my bible study this week we talked about agape love, the love that God provides. As we were talking, I wrote a note to self "was all of the grief in my life for this purpose?"  For me to be where I am today?  The glory of my life today and the journey I am on today with God?

We watched a video and that is basically what was talked about.  That if we don't feel the pain of grief and rejection, then why would we search out the love of God?  If we could possibly get that type of love from people, then would we even need God?  I've learned about agape love, and I will strive to give that type of love, but I know that I will fail every day.  I can only expect that type of love from God.

Beloved's, I am mourning.  I tried to help a young girl last year and I got the news today that she did not make it.  That her addiction took her life.  When this happens, questions come into my thoughts.  Why didn't she "get" it?  Why do her children need to go through this pain?  Could I have done anything else to help her?  Why does her family need to suffer this pain and this loss?  Did she know Jesus?  Did I ask her that?  Should I have gone to that place with her?  and on and on and on. 

Then I come to this prayer "Lord Jesus, God in the Highest, Your work in this world is beyond anything I can possibly dream.  Help me to be of service to those who need me.  Help me to walk in line with Your will and walk beside my friends who are grieving.  Surround them with your love and heal their hearts.  Lord please don't let their hearts harden.  Please don't let my heart harden again, for I trust in You, Oh Lord my God.  Thank you for showing me how to love and for softening my heart enough to love again.  Take away my fear of love so that I may feel the joy of love.  You are almighty and I trust in you always.  Amen"