Grief and Glory

In my bible study this week we talked about agape love, the love that God provides. As we were talking, I wrote a note to self "was all of the grief in my life for this purpose?"  For me to be where I am today?  The glory of my life today and the journey I am on today with God?

We watched a video and that is basically what was talked about.  That if we don't feel the pain of grief and rejection, then why would we search out the love of God?  If we could possibly get that type of love from people, then would we even need God?  I've learned about agape love, and I will strive to give that type of love, but I know that I will fail every day.  I can only expect that type of love from God.

Beloved's, I am mourning.  I tried to help a young girl last year and I got the news today that she did not make it.  That her addiction took her life.  When this happens, questions come into my thoughts.  Why didn't she "get" it?  Why do her children need to go through this pain?  Could I have done anything else to help her?  Why does her family need to suffer this pain and this loss?  Did she know Jesus?  Did I ask her that?  Should I have gone to that place with her?  and on and on and on. 

Then I come to this prayer "Lord Jesus, God in the Highest, Your work in this world is beyond anything I can possibly dream.  Help me to be of service to those who need me.  Help me to walk in line with Your will and walk beside my friends who are grieving.  Surround them with your love and heal their hearts.  Lord please don't let their hearts harden.  Please don't let my heart harden again, for I trust in You, Oh Lord my God.  Thank you for showing me how to love and for softening my heart enough to love again.  Take away my fear of love so that I may feel the joy of love.  You are almighty and I trust in you always.  Amen"